The Final Detail

i wonder why...a friend of u hate u...and u ask him to delete u since he hate u...and after some time...he apologize to u...n add u as friend again...i felt boring and meaningless with this delete-and-add game...very ridiculous and the situation change in the speed so fast that is out of imagination. I still dun know why...

sometimes it's hard to understand how should i survive in this blemished world...n it doesn't seem that u treat others good, then you'll get the same reward...no~absolutely not...depends on the kind of people u met. And so, with the kind of people as kind and gentle as him, and, with the kind of people as evil and pervert like her, i don't think i can stay in peace, until i leave...

and now, the problem came. He add me as his friend again but then i feel hard to press on 'accept'. Quite hard. I dunno what to do at first, when I saw the friend request last night. The result is, I kept staring at the computer screen for nearly 20 minutes but still can't figure out what to do. Finally, I gave up the war of mind struggling and crept into my warm bedding. Only my pillow and Rocorn can give me the kind of consolation i needed.

Well, you know what's mind-struggling? It's almost like a mentally ill, i think, where u can't bear with the situation anymore and u felt urself broken down. That's exactly what I faced last night, and, there're 2 side of me, giving 2 different directions. The angel said:" well, forget all those unhappiness, and you'll find happiness. You do this for peace, it's not only for ur own good, but also others. Accept~Accept~..." While the evil said:" No~dun gave up ur war spirit so easily. Everyone hav to pay for all the things they've done...no exception. Imagine how he treat u before, becoz of her, and ur suffers. You must revenge, for all the things he've done."

But then...Uh-huh~I can't sleep the whole night, and i felt exhausted...My god~~~why you play such a trick on me? I dunno how should i react...cry or smile foolishly, but honestly, both happened simultaneously. And after one night of struggling, i pressed 'accept' finally...but what's on my mind now is that i didn't feel like he's my friend AT ALL...and that troubled me...a people like me...is not the kind of people that can recovered fast, or the kind of people that have harm you before, but then still smiling at you as if she is friendly.

Talking about that, i felt like wanna revenge on her again. What i felt stupid is that, she had blocked all those people that are friends of me and li quan. She is courageous, huh? ya...such a childish girl that didn't even know how to write the word 'embarrased' ! Even Hui Ling also been blocked by her. I cannot comprehend with this...hui ling didn't do any harm on u rite? So i don't think she deserved to be treat like this...mayb u dun know the first and most important rule of revenge. Let me tell u...the first rule is, to aim ur target. Revenge on the people that caused harm to you, not the people beside him/her! Well, i guess u may not be able to understand this, and u still keep on doing stupid things...u're such a jerk!!! Just aim me, dun hurt other people!

Lastly, i felt speechless...that's nothing i can do under the circumstance like this...n i hv to say that, honestly, I HATE THIS!